Monday, November 19, 2018

A Huge Double-sider

Hiya.  If you saw the link I posted yesterday on facebook, you’ll know I take cheating in a relationship very seriously-I fear it’s growing in numbers, probably the leading factor in divorce.  Many people think it’s only the physical act-especially, the cheater, it’s their way of relieving any guilt-but it’s so much more, it’s way deeper than that.
The article explains there are five other types: emotional, energetic, mental, spiritual, and visual.  To be honest, some of these sound similar to me, but all of them could lead a person to physically cheat on their partner.  They all are very harmful because, most importantly, but not limited to, they destroy trust.
Some examples of these types of adultery are when your partner (often) communicates with a third person about more intimate things than what they tell you, or your partner telling third person they’d be happy imagining them naked-perhaps posing, or dancing, or just standing still.  It’s fantasizing; now, the article makes a clear distinction between saying, “Oh, he/she is hot,” and going about your day, and, “Ooh, he/she is HOT!” and pursuing it further.  It is visiting pornographic websites.  It is lying to your partner about where you are, or leaving out parts of the story when the part left out is sexual.  It is going against God (or your religious belief).
It is a million different but unclean things that they are not physically doing.
Sometimes, the guilty one, if thinking they are caught, will engage in two opposite behaviors.  1. Be extra lovey-dovey to the partner until suspicion dies down, or 2. my favorite (sarcastic laugh) ignoring or treating partner like shit, making them feel as if they are wrong somehow, or stupid, or something, just to justify what they are doing is okay.  I’ve seen these-I personally know these people-and they are disgusting!
Maybe the cheater really does love you.  But guess what-they don’t love you enough.  They want to have their cake and eat it, too.  As a kid, I never understood that line, but now, I do.  If somebody doesn’t love you enough to only need to be with you, I’m sorry-I’m not trying to sound pessimistic-chances are, you won’t win.  Leave before everything that makes you You is smashed to Hell.
If you are the adulterer, physical or other, just be honest, for once, and leave the much more deserving partner to find who Really Loves them.  Maybe you were the one being cheated on once.  I’m truly sorry.  But why would you want your new partner to go through the torture you suffered?  Maybe you like being a jerk.  Either way, the faithful, unconditional partner never deserved to be lonely.
Just my opinion.

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