Monday, November 11, 2024

REALLY?!

I posted this on FB Fri.  Be proud of me, I didn't throw anybody under the bus.


 I'm not one to get offended easily. I offend, mostly indirectly. I don't get offended about being a crip. It is what it is. I don't like being referred to as handicapped, it connotates defective. Disable's PC. But, if you can call me Crip, we can be friends.


Anyway, on to the story...

But, last night, Joey's provider told us how she sometimes uses the store scooters, "because she's tired." She likened them to bumper cars! I said that was ghetto, and that we don't CHOOSE to use our chairs. AND, THE COW DOUBLED DOWN ON IT!
Then, it was time for Joey to get ready for bed, which was good, because I was biting my tongue on calling her out on being fat.
THEN, this morning, Joey's other chick comes in telling her it was sprinkling, and that she'll have to leave early if it starts raining harder, because her car's sunroof isn't closing, and she doesn't want it to ruin her car.
I said, "So, you'd leave your client hanging over your car."
Joey said, "you should get a tarp to put over it," AND, THE COW DOUBLED DOWN saying it'd be too hard to do that, and she doesn't want her clothes ruined.
I told Joey in front of the provider to call her super.

UPDATE: Hummer chick's no longer on Joey's case.

So, have any of you crips been told stupid shit like the above and had it doubled down on?

Monday, November 4, 2024

Trepidation

It was Aug. when Joey started her commutes to Dallas that'd culminate with her surgery last month.  As her husband, her safety doing solo trips in the taxis, because there aren't spots for two chairs, to Dallas was daunting since I couldn't be there.  Not that Joey can't handle herself, it's just these trips had HUGE ramifications, and she shouldn't've had to deal with them on her own.  I traded in my tablet for the laptop ,I'm using to do this post, for a standing cam, as opposed to having to hold a tablet up while being a part of her appointment.  I wasn't going to let her hear good or bad, especially bad news without feeling I was there for her.  Wed., she does it again, for her post-op exam.  At least, she'll have a provider going with in the taxi, but still...  Yeah, I'm going to be there for her on cam.  Still, I'm nervous for her.  I want her to be healing well.


YouTube dinged me for using "1000 Years" (the whole copyright thing), but oh well. I did this video in tribute to her journey.  There're pics taken of us, but most of them, I did from the first time she went to the hospital for staph on.


Friday, November 1, 2024

Repping Disabled in Film

I originally submitted this article as a sample with my app for a writing job with ScreenRant, which they rejected, but oh well, screw 'em.  I like it, and I've not seen anything like it, so why not do it.



 Disability is a condition that makes it more difficult for a person to perform certain activities or interact with the world around them. Disabilities can affect a person's vision, movement, thinking, learning, hearing, communication, mental health, and social relationships.

Tod Browning’s 1932 classic Freaks is considered the first film to star disabled people showcasing people from P.T. Barum’s sideshow in a Drama\Horror\Body Horror film.  The “Body Horror” label comes from the very end, otherwise this label’s debatable.

At a test screening, it bombed, but the venue had already been set, so as the saying goes, “The show must go on”.  Word got around that the movie was going to be recut, so it got the billing of: "Your last opportunity to see 'Freaks' in its uncensored form!"  It killed. 

Freaks official synopsis reads: A circus' beautiful trapeze artist Cleopatra agrees to marry Hans the leader of side-show performers, but Hans' deformed friends discover that she is only marrying him for his inheritance. So they seek revenge.

However, it was considered a bomb with budget of $310,000 and only making $341,000 worldwide while being banned in the U.K. until the 60s when it was labeled X.  Why?

Sure, even in the day, sideshows were thought of as exploitative, and even though they’re being highlighted in a horror movie, they were taken out of the shadows of the traveling big top, and given names, some of which went on to be part of other movies.

Fast forward to '86,  deaf actress, Marlee Matlin, made waves in her debut in the drama, Children of a Lesser God with William Hurt and Piper Laurie about a new speech teacher at a school for the deaf falls in love with the janitor, a deaf woman speechless by choice.

It made $31.8 mill on a $10.5  mill budget with a 7.2/10 on IMDB, and 81% and 78% on Rotten Tomatoes.  She'd go on to be one of the best known, if not the best known deaf actresses in Tinseltown.  In '11-'17, she'd head the hit show, Switched at Birth with up and comers, Katie Leclerc, Sean Berdy, and Stephanie Nogueras, all deaf. 




'88, Orion introduced the world to the underappreciated Stewart Raffill (The Ice Pirates, Passenger 57) made Mac and Me about a disabled kid played by Jade Calegory, who was born with Spina Bifida, that befriends an alien family.  It made $6.4 mill on a $13 mill budget.  No, it didn’t move mountains, but it put Calegory front and center in a family film geared towards finding a commonality in differences.



The following year the TV show, Life Goes On, debuted starring Chris Bueke, who was born with Down’s Syndrome.  The official synopsis for Life Goes On reads: A modern All-American family deals with the struggles of life and love in mid-western suburbia.  Notice, there’s no mention of Burke’s Corky having Down’s, choosing to focus on the family unit as a whole instead of singling him out.  But, what about a disabled actor doing a role outside the “feel good” arena?



The Hungarian actioner, Kills On Wheels dropped 2016 starring Zoltán Fenyvesi as Zolika, about a wheelchair assassin gang. Driven by despair and fear of becoming useless, a 20 year-old boy, his friend, and an ex-fireman offer their services to the mafia. But things are not what they seem. The boundaries between reality and fiction blur and the story becomes a whirling kaleidoscope showing us gangsters and gunfights, but also the challenge of life in a wheelchair and the pain caused by a father's rejection.

At its release, the film made $15.9K, and has a wonderful 90% on Rotten Tomatoes showing the people who saw, dug it.  Not bad for a movie that has a sequence where a wheelchair cushion is used as a silencer.


Then in '18, horror was gifted with A Quiet Place and A Quiet Place II in '20 with Millicent Simmonds, a deaf budding actress, carrying a 96% and 83% and 91% and 89% on Rotten Tomatoes while making $340.9 mill on a $17 mill budget and $297.3 mill on a $61 mill budget.




Recent shows like Netflix’s series Born This Way about couples with Down’s Syndrome, Netflix’s Crip Camp about the history of summer camps for the disabled (incidentally, Joey and I met at a summer camp in '00), the hit series, Breaking Bad with RJ Mitte, who has Cerebral Palsy, the series New Amsterdam with Sandra Mae Frank, who’s deaf, playing a surgeon, and last year's Barbie Movie with three disabled actresses (Grace Harvey (CP Paralympian) plays Wheelchair Vet Barbie, Ashley Young (lost limb representation) is Bionic Barbie, and Jennifer Chan a Deaf presidential candidate), however, the movie's been criticized for relegating these characters to cameos at best.  Even this year’s Wicked, dropping November 27th, will have actress\Paralympian Marissa Bode, who’s a paraplegic, playing the eventual Wicked Witch of the East.  In ninety-two years, the disabled have come so far to get
recognized.








Tuesday, October 29, 2024

Joey's Wound/What's the Price of Care?

 


So, Joey got her wound vac off from her surgery last night when Amanda, our friend, came to get her in bed.  It'd been a week and a half, and the battery'd run out like clockwork.  Dr. Collett'd said it would when he was telling us about what he'd done.  Here's the rub.

Friday afternoon, when we realized the vac wasn't humming, which I think was actually that morning when I heard a beep I couldn't pin the source, we called the agency, when Joey started to feel the vac pad was getting bulky on its own.  They said they didn't have orders, so we called Dallas to get said orders, then, called the agency to tell them the orders were on their way....then, they dropped the real reason they wouldn't do it.

The didn't have insurance authorization; therefore, they weren't getting paid.  Forget that it might've NEEDED to come off, it wasn't happening with them UNTIL then, and ONLY then...and, PROBABLY not even then if they could find another loophole.  Hell, Joey noted that the nurse, who came for me Wednesdays and Fridays and does Joey's med box, hadn't even been interested to see the spot...just out of curiosity as a nurse.  Even our friends, who've been helping her since she's had her surgery and her last provider went sideways, have been interested to see what Collett'd done.

A layman, not meaning the term derogatorily, did a nurse's job UNPAID, because she CARES.

Care- the provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something.

feel concern or interest; attach importance to something.

These're official definitions.  I would add "without monetary compensation" added.

Yeah, I know people need to be paid when doing their job, I get it, BUT NOT EVERYTHING'S ABOUT MONEY.  And, not everything's about the self.  That tells me A LOT a person.  People're sloppy with their words and their actions.  I love letting people talk and watching them.  Most people're actually easy to read.  People're just too busy thinking about the shit they're going to say to LISTEN what others're saying.  But, I digress.

I worked in healthcare at my folks' office for 17 years, 4 of which was after they retired and sold the office to the hospital.  I didn't leave because of the pay, I left, because I saw how corporate the place was becoming, putting money over care...and, I didn't want to be a part of that.  I knew going in, it WASN'T about me, it was about keeping people above ground.  I put my bias first once, and she DIED.  Her name was Heather.  I've been gone from the office since '17 to give some perspective.

Also, Joey and I've been getting home "health" since we were both 15.  I'm 48, she's 46.  Do the math.  We've been through a lot of providers, we can read money grubbers from people, who're here because they want to be.

Just a thought...

Monday, October 28, 2024

After the Show

 After the concert, Joey was worried we weren't going to get to see Chris since we weren't able to get to the pit.  The importance of this was she'd brought a card she hoped he'd sign for her surgeon, who's also a long SW fan from the day.  She'd found this out on one of her appointments she'd worn a SW T, and he recognized the band.  Since it's probably a conflict of interest for her to ask him if he wanted to come with (we had an extra ticket), she'd gotten a blank card for the band to sign if they wanted to.  Then, we found how inaccessible the theater was, and she thought all her plans were dashed.

Earlier, she'd officially gotten to meet Noel, Walter's wife, since they'd been friends on Facebook, who was working the souvenir booth, and told her of her dilemma, which she said she'd put the bug in the band's ear we were there.  They didn't come before the show or during ManifestiV's set, and as soon as SW was done with their set, Granada management ordered everybody out, "because we need to get the theater ready for NEXT week's event."  What the hell, man, how's a little more hang time going to screw up your getting the place ready for NEXT week?

Anyway, they said we needed to go to the lobby, but we couldn't stay in the theater.  They said we MIGHT able to catch them if we went to the back where they were loading up, but something about them having to catch a flight to their next gig, so they probably won't wait.  I saw Joey look dejected, but I started to head to the lobby to go around to where I saw them unloading their gear since we'd parked a bit to the side of them when we got there.

I was going down the ramp to the lobby when Joey's provider called me back.  Apparently, Chris saw Joey was leaving to follow me when he stopped packing their gear to yell for her not to leave!  As I came back, Chris and Joey were hugging and crouched to chat with us.  Joey was on Cloud Nine.  I wanted to tell him I loved The Crow: Salvation intro they did for Waking Up Beside You, but I forgot watching Joey and Chris interact.  This was her time, I was just facilitator.  Sure, Chris and I chatted, but this was for Joey considering the surgery was the next week.  And, she not only got Chris to write a message to Dr. Collett, but the whole band signed it.  Joey's got so much pull with people...LOL!  The smile she had was priceless.  By the way, Collett'd never had a patient do that for him, and said he's getting it framed.  He also said he and his team listened to SW doing Joey's surgery.  Joey laughed that she didn't get to partake.

Of course, Chris coming to us had some, not necessarily unwanted attention, but attention nonetheless from people, who'd heard Chris'd come back to hang with us.  And, of course, they wanted their 15 seconds to bask.  I felt bad for Chris, because he was just being Chris to a longtime fan who wasn't able to get close to him during she show.  I think he noticed, because he said he needed to get back to breaking gear down, hugged Joey again, kinda waved at the bystanders, and went about his business.  We saw a group milling around their van while we loaded up, so he didn't get to leave unscathed.  Poor Chris.  Afterward, we both said we thought he looked thinner, but still looked good.




Sunday, October 27, 2024

Stabbing Westward and ManifestiV Take the Granada in Dallas


 In Catching Up Part 2, mentioned going to the Stabbing Westward concert in Dallas as Joey's  belated birthday present.  Well, I did review for an online mag I write for off and on when the editor has reviews others don't want or he gets behind.  Anyhoo, he wants things written in the collective with little to no individual thoughts, which's fine, it's his mag.

Here, I don't have that constraint.  So, without further ado, here's my review of the Stabbing Westward/ManifestiV Dallas concert from the 12th.   

After last year’s tour, I thought it’d be the last for Stabbing Westward owing to lead, Christopher Hall’s health issues along with just life, (ya know, kids and whatnot) but, fear not, Stabbies, the band’s going stronger than ever making a stop at the Granada Theater in Dallas, Texas Saturday, the 12th.

The Granada was built in’46 in Lower Greenville, Dallas in the Art Deco style with neon lights, murals, and a capacity of about 1,000 as a film house that was converted to a concert hall in ‘77 and reopened as such in ‘04.  With that said, once you get to the theater area, it’s not crip-friendly for wheelchairs if you want to be in the pit.  Joey and I've NEVER been afraid to be in the pit, and have NEVER not been able to get to said pit for ANY concert...until this concert.  You're telling me, Joey and I'm the first crips in the buildings concert-hosting history who've wanted to be in the thick of things instead of being relegated to the crip "designated" (hence the so-so pics on my part of ManifestiV, Joey scored better with SW) not QUITE in the nose bleed, which by the way's up another flight of steps. A bag of concrete would solve that problem, or Amazon has some ramps for as cheap as $39.45/pop.  By the way, the staff wasn't helpful just sat reiterating what our crip asses could already see...that there were "designated" spots for wheelchairs.  This is unfortunate since the band with support from Industrial band, ManifestiV, put on a spectacular show. 

We weren't in the know about ManifestiV, but according to their Bandcamp page, ManifestiV’s bio says Paragraph, a mohawk-wearing guitarist & programmer, joined forces with Lillith, a high braid wearing tatted gal vibraphonist & visual artist, originally out of Vallejo, Cali.  Ryan on live drums and mixing and Kevin on live bass, wearing his spiked Black Death mask, join the duo during their Dallas shows. They used their instruments in new ways, scoring the imminent end of human civilization with down-tuned guitars & electronic vibraphone hand-built by Lillith, aiming to guide humanity off Earth to explore & build other worlds while possible over their six releases since their ’14 formation.

Their stage show’s a hour masterclass of how to use simple light and shadow to elicit feelings with a performance wrapped in instrumentals that can be mellow and hard in a second’s notice, or at the same for that matter, and songs with vocals that evoke emotion of carpe diem, because today’s all we have as they’ve said about their latest offering, ‘23’s Legacy.  Trying to come with a like band sound, came up nothing even though they say their influences are Nine Inch Nails and Alice In Chains. With their look and sound, they’re literally a modern-day medieval band, which isn’t a bad thing.  I could literally see them in a medieval square jamming...albeit sonically, although Kevin's Black Death mask would probably bs frown upon... just saying.






Stabbing Westward (Christopher Hall on lead vocals, guitars, keyboards, drum machine programming, Walter Flakus on keyboards, programming, backing vocals, guitars, Bobby Amaro on drums, and their newest member, Cyamak Ashtiani, who we heard is super personable, on guitars, backing vocals, who joined the guys this year), who’s last release was ‘22’s Chasing Ghosts, had everybody on their feet except for the few crips (again, we were the ONLY ones in wheelchair, why?).  I always wonder how a band that's been around with a catalogue that covers thirty-three years, it must have been hard to pare down a set that takes us on a journey that touches everybody in the right places.


Despite hearing Chris and Walter'd been under the weather their last couple shows, ever personable and accessible, Chris chatted with concertgoers in the pit as the band went through their set that played like their greatest hits rocking us old timers and newbies experiencing their first Stabbing Westward concert.  We saw a few.  Between songs, Chris would give insight to the history of a given hit, a few times saying they were going to try something new in a deadpan face before going into another hit, which everybody ate up.


Ungod’s got us started with its driving beat as Chris’ vocals rise to crescendo about literally getting drained by toxic relationships. Falls Apart keeps the hard-hitting beat coming with the help of Bobby’s crazy drum skills.  Of course, Chris brings the emotion of a relationship gone sideways.  Then, the crows started cawing, and we were in their cover of the Cure’s Burn from The Crow (’94) is a faithful rendition that has an Industrial flare while keeping the gothic vibe the Cure had. 



Next, Wasted slows the tempo a bit melodically, but the message’s as heavy as ever as Chris sings about self-loathing.  Lies follows bitingly with its clipping tempo and cutting riffs.  Chris’ vocals are reminiscent of Nine Inch Nails’ Trent Reznor here to me in tone and delivery. The contemplative What Do I Have to Do slides in with a drive by Ashtianti’s ripping guitars accompanied by Walter’s keyboards, and of course, Chris’s vocals carry the message longingly.  


The Thing I Hate brings the electrical intro followed by the cutting guitars in a Punk-tinged anthem of defiance against not being influenced by the hate that surrounds us. Ghost comes in…like a ghost talking about being in a relationship where Chris feels invisible even if he’s in whoever’s face and what does he have to do to get attention.  Continuing off Ghost’s theme, So Far Away plaintively tells again about being in a relationship that’s here, but distant.



Prefacing a cover of New Order’s hit Bizarre Love Triangle they did for Not Another Teen Movie (’01), Chris explains the song wasn’t what they thought it was going to be…wink, wink. I love the elevation of this '86 Pop-ish hit.  Haunting Me flips the script with Chris singing of the ex-stalker over a beat that reminds one of a sledgehammer.  Nothing is straight Industrial talking about the pull of a toxic relationship knowing whoever needs to get out.  


Sometimes It Hurts is a slower tempo song, but nonetheless rocks as Chris sings about loss love. Violent Mood Swings follows on Sometimes It Hurts with its hammering, driving beat like one of those crazy Emotional Pendulums while Chris is in his head.  One of their best known hits, Save Yourself (and, my favorite since it was what Joey was singing at the talent show at camp the first time I saw her), immediately starts with its unmistakable F, Eb, F, Eb, F, Eb, F, Eb, F, Eb, F, Eb intro as the song gets introspective about feeling overwhelmed from fan mail laying out their life issues when he didn’t feel he had his own shit together.  Then, they left the stage.

Coming back onstage, the band treated us with not one, but two encores, beginning with Waking Up Beside You.  What sets off the concert version is they did the intro from the version they did for The Crow: Salvation (’00) with its ethereal, whispy reverb instead of the full drive the original cut has.  Immediately, they transitioned into  Shame.  Shame’s has always been Stabbing Westward’s encore as the last line is, “How can I exist without you?”, because the band knows they’re only doing what they do, because of the fans.  They repeat the line as Chris raises his hands to the crowd hitting each section, always not leaving anyone excluded.  Then, it was the end...but, not for us...