Vulnerable!

So, last night on Good Doctor, everything was about vulnerability.  In the main plot, a girl and her father came in.  The girl has Moebius Syndrome, and wants surgery to smile.  Now, whether she actually wants the procedure or it’s her dad, is up for debate, some dialogue made me wonder.  Of course, Sean chimes in with all the negative outcomes that could occur, which she changes her mind.  When confronted, she vehemently says Sean didn’t change her mind…she said she needed to own her Moebius.  Ultimately, she got the surgery, but it was stated that either way she was vulnerable to being judged.  Without, she would continue as she’d always been with people wondering about her lack of expression when she was sarcastic naturally.  After, people’ll just judge.

In the second plot, we had two ladies, one had her identity stolen by the first lady, who was backed against a wall of deciding between paying insurance premiums for a procedure she needed or putting her only son through college.  College won, but she got her procedure also by stealing a lady’s purse with her insurance card.  HOWEVER, she DID NOT get the pain med or the antibiotic for the follow up, because she didn’t want to use the stolen insurance card again and run the risk of getting caught, so when the episode progressed, she wound up antibiotic-resistant septic, dying.  The first lady came in AFTER Dr. Browne called her to tell her they’d called in her meds after the imposter inexplicably disappeared.  That’s when they learned of the identity theft.  Come to find out the first lady’s a doc/pharmacy hopper addict, so the insurance MIGHT’VE been hers!  Possibly three people affected by identity theft, one of which died, the other in rehab by coincidence, and a third MIA.  Their lives were just stolen either way.

I’ve written a couple of posts about feeling vulnerable, and this episode made me think about it again.  I think, we as crips, fear feeling vulnerable most.  Whether it’s with our care, whether they’re REALLY taking care of us or just doing whatever, whether we’ll be able to have a future after our folks go if we haven’t left the house yet…hell, whether we’re going to be able to get up on a given day JUST TO LIVE, we feel extremely vulnerable.  It’s a sucky, scary feeling.

I’ve been living on my own for 23 years now, and still have bouts even though I’ve got help, my folks, Joey, and full faith in myself.  Like Sean says, it’s the what ifs that are the variables that can either keep the hinges intact or COMPLETELY unhinge life to a train wreck.

Being honest, I don’t have all the answers.  I know what I know and can tell my experiences.  I’ve made it 41 years, 23 of those on my own fighting the vulnerable demon.

Everyday’s a battle, just stay in the battle, and you’ll’ve won.

Be good to each other.

-J-

PS. This marks our 200th post!!!!!!