Sunday, March 4, 2018

Farting in Church.

So, today I had a potentially embarrassing thing happen that happens to crips at the most inopportune times…I farted…LOUD.  Thank God it was at a loud time during the service.  Now, sometimes I can push myself down in my chair to muffle said fart…today was not one of those times.

Being paraplegic, meaning, being dead from the waist down as it’s said in Family Guy, I don’t have the muscles that would hold gas at bay.  Seriously, paraplegia’s when, technically, the person’s not SUPPOSED to be able to feel below the waist.  I say SUPPOSED, because I can to my knees.  Now, it gets spotty the lower down my legs it goes, but, still, I can.

I know I just said that, but that doesn’t necessarily pertain to the insides.  Because I can’t use the lower half of my body, my muscles, though exist, aren’t as strong as they should be.  Hence, the farting at inopportune times.  I know they’re coming, so I can excuse myself quickly, but sometimes, it’s just possible, like when I was at work and stuck on the phone.

Yeah, it happens in front of friends and fam.  My new friends might be surprised, but they’re cool and not let on.  I don’t know what they think, if they think anything.  My old friends just know.  Of course, I excuse myself…I’m a crip, not ghetto.
It sucks sometimes, but it’s a part of me for better or worse.

If you’re a crip reading this, you’re not alone.

Be good to each other.


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