Saturday, January 27, 2018

Just Sometimes

So, I guess this is allowed here.  Today’s rant-yes, ranting, or “complaining” as somebody often says I do.  However, even when ranting, I try to be accurate, non-blaming (for no reason), and to the point.
Though, just every now and then, getting things off your chest is necessary.
If you don’t know, I’ve been clinically depressed since I was 16.  People have lots of legit reasons for depression-I’m not looking for people to feel sorry for me.  Sometimes I deal, and sometimes I can’t.
I think the main thought is if you have somebody to share everything with, you’d be less depressed.  But…just sometimes, that isn’t the case.
So, here I am today, depressed, and my assumption is that my other half doesn’t even know-again.  I’ve been sad for a while straight-things are getting frustrating.  I’m not new at this-I know good times/bad times, all that.  And I’m in it for all that.  All I’m saying is I’m frustrated.
No job for longer than expected, so money’s been a little tighter.  I don’t  mind at all paying for stuff, but I’ve had to pitch in way more lately.  My caregiver and I cook and clean all morning almost every day, run errands, pull stickers out of the “kids’” paws and ears.  There’s always something to keep me busy.
I said something the other day, regarding my perceived lack of help, but they replied, “It is what it is.”
Oh.  It’s okay that I’m always so stressed that on my downtime I don’t even know what to do for fun?  Is that what would’ve been said if the tables were turned?
We wanted to go out today, but, to make a long story short, there was a miscommunication in timing (I guess), so I’m home, writing this.  Coincidently, “The Break-up”, which I’ve never seen, is on TV, and they’re arguing about things often being one sided.  I guess that’s just the way it is for everybody sometimes.

I’m finished ranting, but I wish I had a piece of cake to eat right now.  At least I have a soda.  Thanks, guys.  I love ya.

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