Looking Outside Myself.

So, we had a nice time at the folks’ today.  Mom made meatloaf, Joey’s favorite, baby potatoes and squash, cheesy (since Joey gave up cheese for Lent) broccoli, and cheery pie with cherry ice cream.  It was delish!  Kat and Jack, my lil’ sis and BIL, weren’t able to come unfortunately.

I was gonna save this for Tuesday since it’ll be our 3 months since we started the site, but today being the day it is, yeah, it’s fitting.

Today hanging with the fam and doing the site, has really made me look at myself.  REALLY.  A LOT of stuff I’ve put in these, now, 229 posts, I’ve only shared with CLOSE friends and fam…and, then maybe NOT then.  It’s not about airing dirty laundry, I have NO prob throwing out my 2 cents about anything whether it’s like or not.  It’s about helping others (like I did at the office until I had to leave) through my experiences.  Also, throwing out my thoughts on everything is cathartic. 

I come off as on top of the world, but I’m only human.  I’m not always shiny happy.  More often than not, when I write about my brother or Noe, my best friend, I’m bawling my eyes out, seriously, because I think of what shoulda been, I think of the last day with Noe before the ambulance took him away, I think of being the last person in the room when Joey slipped into coma, for which I’m honored for the experiences, BUT DEFINITELY NOT my happiest memories.  I can’t purge them, I don’t want to.  But, I can write about them.  I owe it to them.

Being with my folks with Joey another Easter, I’m grateful.  I know people are without within the week, the last couple months.  We’ve read about people struggling with themselves, what they are.  I’ve been there, I know the struggle’s real.  Some days, I’m STILL struggling.  I’ve got that support system.  I want to pay it forward.

Of course, I want Two Feet Below to be more, and according to a friend who’s started his own business, it’ll come.  I can wait.  Until then, I’ll throw out my experiences, thoughts, dreams, and demons.

Thanks for listening.

Be good to each other.

-J-